My Path…
I have been on this road, this trail, this path towards self-awareness and enlightenment for some time now. I don’t remember where or when I found myself here. I don’t think it matters, and if I had to guess it be somewhere in my late adolescence. I know I am well into the woods.
In my recent reflections, I can see how the early steps have been dedicated to the physical world and my concrete self. Why I do what I do. Why I think what I think. How to balance my thoughts and my actions. I questioned humanity; I questioned who I am, and in my long and sometimes desperate exploration, I found in myself the balance between the cognitive, the behavioral, and the body.
Part two. To FeeL. And to feel with the awareness that I WILL BE OK. How to recognize my emotions. How to let go of control over my feelings. The realization that I only have control over what I choose to do or not to do with my emotions and my thoughts. That people make me feel. That Life makes me think, and the combination of the like is to be alive. To be awake.
I have studied the earth, literature, music, art, philosophy, science, history, psychology, religions, and even some math. Education has been my compass. And it has led me inward, deeper and deeper into depths of myself.
I have been wandering, unsure and afraid of what’s ahead, but I am ready to cross the bridge that lies between what I know and the questions I need to ask. The universe is calling, and it cannot be ignored. I am armed with my mind, I can think, I can feel, I can find meaning, and I can reflect. I am proud of all the hard work that it takes to walk along this path. Without doubt, I have stumbled, been lost, and found myself ready to give up, but something is always there to give me their Hand. It’s a Hand that has led me to my soul.
On this side of the bridge, God is great and lives in peoples’ hearts, in nature, and in the ‘soul of the world.’ I have begged you to take care of the lost, to give me strength, and thanked you for all you given. For the many omens and signs you have left along my journey, for the flowers, and the sun, and the amazing people who fill my life.
A new question arises in me. What I have for so long believed to be you God, the sun, the moon, the earth, the flowers, & the good actions of individual peoples, can possibly just be another body, self, and shell that also carries fragments of your spirit inside of them; and you God are Greater?.
I am looking for my faith and understanding in you God, and I have been looking outside my window, fearful the bridge will collapse under my feet, but I have heard the beating of my heart and the voice of my soul. It’s time I listen. It’s time I find you within myself.
The window has been shattered, the bridge reinforced, and here I am walking deeper into the woods….
